Saturday, May 28, 2005

An 'er' like day!

Today was so not like my other days at the hospital. True, I've had many interesting experiences, but today I got to see a lot of things that I've only seen on tv, er to be more specific. We were in our morning rounds, it was my first day with this team, though I already knew the docs, so we see an old female patient, and then move to the next when her maid comes and tells us that she stopped talking all of a sudden. We rush there, and they start CPR, they start compressiong and giving her oxygen, and they ended up shocking her with electricity, and intubating her, meaning they put a tube down her throat. The doctor told me to stay with her while they take her to the radiology where we had to rule out a specific problem, and I did, I had to stay with her through that, and until we got her up to ICU, intensive care unit.

Later, during the oncall, a doctor ask me to help her with blood collection, and by mistake some of the blood splashes onto my clothes, lol, I had blood spots all over.

And to end the day, at around 10 pm, another doctor is called to the emergency room for another critical care, so she runs to the A&E, and me and two other guys run behind her, walla it was like a scene from er!!

What a day it has been!

Posted by Noors at 11:55 PM 9 comments

Friday, May 27, 2005

*listening to the verve, bitter sweet symphony*

How many times do we let oppertunities pass by us without taking any advantage of them? Don't you just hate it when life brings you a chance, and you, being stupid enough, let it go, and miss on an oppertunity that you've been looking for? Then of course the regret phase would starts, and the 'what if's' keep on running through your head.

I've decided to put an end to this. Seriously, I keep on doing this to myself, I can be so unfair to myself, just for the sake of others, I always put other people's feelings and opinions before mine, and you know what, I can't let this happen anymore, I should start giving myself the right to take on the good chances I'm given, instead of feeling bad over it. This sucks!

*Trying to give myself a boost of courage over here! lol*

Posted by Noors at 10:44 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

It's almost midnight. I can't remember the last time I was able to just sit back and relax, without having the pile of work waiting for me, or my own personal issues to think about.

Sometimes I just wonder how I can do it everyday. Wake up early in the morning, and somehow drag myself out of bed because I'd still be very tired because of lack of sleep, go to the hospital and spend the whole day on my feet until 4, or till late at night if I'm oncall, then sit and study, and go to bed at 2.

At times, I just want to scream so loud just to get everything out of my system. I went to surgery the other day, the consultant told me to join them because they had an emergency case, I was so excited, but only for a few minutes, I couldn't go because something came up, my God I still regret it until today, and I just can't stop thinking about it, I've missed on such a good oppertunity.

You know what I thought would be cool to have? lol a punching bag! My mom said no once to the idea, but I'm gonna try with her again, it would be so cool to have one in my room, something which I can use to get all my anger, sadness, and disappointment out.

Posted by Noors at 12:42 AM 0 comments

Friday, May 20, 2005

What I like about working in a hospital, is how many times people pray for you whenever you help them with anything, and because a lot of them are sick and are in agony, you just know that their prayers come from deep inside their hearts.

What I like about what I do, is that you can so easily make someone feel better, just by giving them a smiling and comforting face. Your main aim throughout your day is how to decrease their pain, and how to make them feel better. True, when you are a banker, you help people who have financial problems, when you are a lawyer, you help people with their legal problems, but when you help a person who is in physical or mental pain, I think that is priceless, and actually yes, you spend an awful lot of your time there in the hospital, no fixed hours, and you're still not paid that much, yet you help people with their most distressing experiences.

I remember when I was doing surgery, one of the consultants took us for bed side teaching, and he was talking us through abdominal examination, and he said something that is, until this day, stuck in my head, I can still hear him and see him in front of me saying it. See when you examine the abdomen for any enlarged organs like the liver, you have to be at the same level to appreciate it, so the best way is to sit down on your knees and examine. Now the guy who was examining it was standing, so the doc goes like "You get down on your knees and examine your patient, yes, in this job, you get down on your knees to make a living"! it was this last part that really caught my attention, and it's true, and I guess that's the beauty of medicine.

Posted by Noors at 11:55 PM 2 comments

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Haven't posted here in ages.

I don't know what to talk about. Should I talk about my long hours at the hospital? The depression I get everytime I see a sick patient who's dying slowly and you can't do anything for them? Or about my own thoughts that are slowly taking control of my brain.

I'm not complaining. I'm living each day at a time. I'm having a good time at the hospital, I don't mind the work, it's my escape from my thoughts. I miss surgery though, so badly. The team I'm with right now is just amazing. The consultant gave us a comforting face from day one. By the 4th day he knew our names, and it's really reassuring when your doc calls you by your name and shows you that he trusts you and has faith in your knowledge.

I've never been so busy before. I mean, when I was doing surgery, I kept myself busy because I really enjoyed it, but now, we finish at 4 or a bit after, that is if I'm not oncall. Sometimes, I just wish that the time would just slow down, or if we can have more hours during the day, at least maybe then, I'll be able to get some decent sleep, and get some proper work done.

Boring entery, lol.

Posted by Noors at 11:52 PM 4 comments

Friday, May 06, 2005

Sometimes all you need is to hear the voice of an old friend to make you feel all better from the inside.

I did that last night. It was good to have a long chat with a friend whom I haven't heard from in such a long time, somehow it took me back to 5 years ago, when I was still at school.

It feels good that even after a long time, people still care about each other and just by talking make you realize that there's still something good about this life.

lol this phone call just made my day!

Posted by Noors at 5:16 PM 6 comments

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I know one thing for sure. I'm stressed out. I haven't started my new rotation yet and I'm already tired. There's always so much to do and so little time. Actually, when you do have the time, you just get to this point where it doesn't matter anymore.

Sometimes I just think that I'm gonna collapse with everything that's going on. The stress of the studies, some uni work, my personal life, etc.. it just takes so much energy that you're left breathless by the end of the day. It takes a lot of effort to get through each day. I wake up knowing that I've got tones of stuff to finish. Either studying, or working, emailing this, and writing to that, going up and down, or just sit and think about different things.

Now that I think of it, this is so not like me, lol. I'm a person who can live under pressure, who has been under stress for such a long time that it didn't really matter, most of the times anyway. So I figured that I'd start exercising again, at least go to the gym if I'm not so keen to go to classses where I don't feel comfortable. I guess you can get used to a gym, and I'll go for one which opens up until late so I can go there after a long day in the hospital, and take out all my stress in the weights, that's how I've survived all these years, and that's how I survived pediatrics, I know it'll make a difference, and it's something I love and miss so much, so there you go.

I'm really looking forward to this. Just can't wait till I finish my final on Saturday, and I'll probably go there on Sunday and join the club.

Posted by Noors at 3:12 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I was doing my own research last night, trying to find some articles that talk about physical activity and it's affect on preventing chronic illnesses in the elderly.

I came across this interesting article that said that recent research shows that regular exercise decreases the risk of developing Alzheimers disease. If you don't know what it is, it's a disease in which the old person slowly starts to lose his or her memory, starting with short term memory loss, and ending up with forgeting everything they've ever learnt. It's such a sad thing to go through, and it causes a lot of distress to the patient him/herself and to the family.

Think about it. Exercise can help people escape this disease? Just a simple life style modification would cause dramatic changes in your health. Not only that, I also read that exercising helps prevent having colon and breast cancer, how's that done, I don't know. But what I know is that what I've always believed in, is slowly being proven by research. Exercising is the ultimate solution to absolutely any medical problem you can think about. It enhances all the different mechanisms in your body, and is the best way to relax yourself and settles you down after a long and stressful day.

Interesting info. Sad thing is, how many of us do actually use this tool to stay healthy? Most of us take it for granted and pretent that they are stilll too young to worry about these problems. Well here's some flashing news, you start to lose your muscle mass in your 30's, so if you do'nt work on having enough of it now, once you get to the age of 50 you'll barely have enough to carry out your usual every day life activities.

So start from today, make it a habit to exercise everyday. Take some time out of your schedule and give it to exercising. Watch less tv, or take shorter naps, and use the remaining time to do useful physical exercise, believe me, you will never regret it!

Posted by Noors at 5:28 PM 5 comments

Monday, May 02, 2005

I don't know what to say. My mind is just all mixed up and i don't know how to think anymore. I just think and think constantly that it feels like my head is about to explode, yet I just can't help but think even more.

I feel like there's a distance between me and those around me. Can't help but feel somehow isolated by my own thoughts.

Posted by Noors at 11:29 PM 1 comments