Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Going crazy....

I'm just tired....

Tired of everything....

This year is only getting harder and more stressful. I'm spending more and more time on my own...

My internal medicine rotation, which is the hardest, finals are in two weeks. I'm worried sick, and I'm very nervous about them. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm good. That I got what it takes and I should be able to go in with a lot of confidence and just do my best. But for some reason, it won't go into my head, which leads to me being nervous whenever I'm being evaluated by a consultant in front of my colleagues. I wish I could find a solution, and I wish I could just trust my abilities.

Lately, I'm spending long hours in the hospital with barely any breaks, which I don't mind. I like the environement in the royal hopsital, and a lot of the docs are friendly, and then I spend the rest of the day in my room, studying. Gets lonely I must admit.

Classes no longer there. I don't really like the work out classes in the new place, but I like doing my cardio on my own. Put my music on, and start my cardio. I just go into my own world, and I feel the rush of adrenaline as I start sweating, and then I get so into it and start running on the treadmill, so that's not too bad. Plus I've decided to start walking outdoors since the weather is getting better.

Last week I was so tired that I thought, why not change my major? Do I have what it takes to be a doc? Do I want to be a doc? Wouldn't I be happy being an instructor? I'm back to my senses now lol. I love medicine, I can't just leave, I'm almost done, I never leave a job undone...

haha, I'm seriously gonna lose my mind by the time I graduate!

Maybe after I'm done, I'll have somewhat of a proper social and personal life!!! *yeah right lol!!!*

Posted by Noors at 12:53 PM


  1. Blogger Nash posted at Thu Nov 02, 12:45:00 AM  

    It the phase many people go through. The reason that you are worried is bec you care for your studies, you wont just accept a simple pass, you really want to excel, thats a good trait. Staying alone for long is not good, being alone is ok, but getting lonely is not, we all need that social interaction, maybe a weekly coffee meet with a few friends might help?
  2. Blogger SomeGuyFromPlanet posted at Thu Nov 02, 10:45:00 PM  
    Yeah, I agree with Nash. There's a phase when people experience uncertainty, deep loneliness, confussions, etc. Usually it starts on collage. During high school we never think anything about life success or future or marriage, all we want is have some fun. But it changed when we went to uni. Usually people will find that people in the uni are egoist and self-centered and ignorant. I felt that way and started to feel being lonely, something I'd never felt before. Luckily I still have some gangs, good and fun guys :D

    Some people may go to an end of it when they get married. Some when they had certain level of wealthiness. Some when they have children. Some when they go for social and humanity duty. Some when they go to work. And I guess for you, Noor, it's gonna be when you become a doctor and instructor at once looool.

    And yeah, interacting with people will help passing through that moments of uncertaintity and loneliness. Family can also help (though sometimes they are annoying--tell us many things to do rather than comforting). The most important, never run, but face. I mean, don't change your major :D
  3. Blogger Degoat posted at Sat Nov 04, 09:18:00 AM  
    i think you should watch Hajime No Ippo... im 100% sure it will work to ur advantage if u do :P

    its my boost controller.. always makes me wanna work harder..

    good luck anyways n remember by the end of the year u will only say.. that was a good year..

  4. Blogger Sue posted at Wed Nov 29, 01:43:00 PM  
    Heeeey future doc!!
    Hmmm i think i saw u in glamour hair saloon today!! Hmmm now that was random wasnt it!! HEhehehe!!

    Tc babes!! Study hard!!
  5. Blogger sensation posted at Wed Dec 06, 07:24:00 AM  
    Hola doc :)
    Well what I am going to say is strange but I will say it anyway! :p
    I have been visiting your blog on regular basis as usual :angel: :p
    BUT everytime I do that, I used to read the first couple of words "I am just tired" and then stop reading!
    Well I think three weeks ago I felt like that too! I was just exhausted! Well I think it's just normal, you know! Sometimes we keep on running and running till we reach this moment where we ask ourselves, Where am I heading to!
    I think I am getting wiser, you know?!! :p
    I think you too! :D
    Good luck with your studies, I am sure you will be just an awesome doctor :)
  6. Blogger SomeGuyFromPlanet posted at Fri Dec 15, 11:02:00 PM  

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