Monday, February 28, 2005

Everything has been really great since yesterday *touch wood*.

First thing, I came back home in the afternoon with my friend so that we can get some rest before we go back to the hospital for our oncall. We had MAG with us for the afternoon session, he showed us a huge aortic aneurysm, lol not in the mood to explain this medical term now!! Anyway, so we leave in less than two hours, went and got ourselves some hot chocolate to wake up, needed the caffiene!

Once we get to the hospital, it started raining, and My God, I'm posted here once how much I loved the rain.

So we're in the hospital, my friend decides that she's too tired, and leaves at 8, and I was left to hang out with the guys, typical! lol So at 9:30, we sit and talk to our oncall doc, and I told him that I'd love to learn how to suture before I leave surgery, so he says, if I was interested, he'd teach me how to scrub and how to suture, because they had two emergency appendicectomies coming in, and I was like sure great. Actually, I was starting to get a bit nervous. I've learnt how to suture once in a workshop that I took in Al Ain during the conference a year ago, but that was on a model, and one year is a long time if you don't practice. So later, we started at around 10:30 pm. I scrubed, and he asked me to help him by holding the retractor so that he can see what he was doing. Neat! I got to see an operation really close, without having to stand in the back, on my toes to try and get a glance of what is going on. Then when it came time to suture, he taught me how to do it, and omg, my hands started shaking, but the weird thing is, I wasn't afraid, so why was I shaking? lol The anesthesiologist asked me :' Doc, have you had your dinner yet?' lol I told him I didnt', but it wasn't because of this, it was because I was practicing on my very first patient. My friend told me I did fine once we were out, lol. God I was sweating! He said that he thought I'd back off once I have the needle in my hand, so he was proud of me. He stayed for the next one because he wanted to try too, I had to go, my mom was up waiting for me, forgot to take my house keys, silly me!

I really wanted to thank that doctor for giving me this chance, I couldn't do it today, because he was busy during the rounds, and then I just couldn't find him, I'll make sure I do that first thing tomorrow morning. I probably sucked, but I think I did a good job for a first time, I need to develop more self confidance, and I want to do it again. But I'll always remember that night. And I'll always always remember this doc, you tend to remember your first time at certain things, and I'm telling you this, I won't be forgeting this day ever, I'll always owe it to him every time I suture.

Oh, and just talked to trainer. We're probably meeting up during the weekened or by Saturday.

Life is busy. I come back home extremly tired, but I'm really enjoying this. I feel like I'm doing something, and I'm interested in learning. I want to know more, I want to be good, I want to make sure that I know my stuff well, so I can help as many people as I can. Yesterday, during a procedure in the morning, the patient was holding my hand, and every time she was in pain, she'd press really hard, I felt so close to her, I tried my best to comfort her, to tell her that she was doing great, I hope it made her feel better, because it sure did touch me. I guess that's the beauty of medicine, everyday, you're left with something. A feeling, a thought, you learn abt life, and abt death, and you learn to appreciate yours too....

Posted by Noors at 5:43 PM 3 comments

Saturday, February 26, 2005

I was watching an episode in the new season of 'er', and my God, that was one heart-breaking episode. So I'm gonna write it here for all of you to read.

Paramedics arrive at a scene, where two girls are lying on the floor after falling from a few feet tall building, with their mom and their brother both crying and the mom screaming hysterically that it was her husband who came back to get back at them all.

They take them to the hospital, they try their best, one girl actually makes it in the er and is shifted to the operation room to stop the bleeding. Sadly, they both die. One of the girls, kept asking the doc who saw her at the scene, and whom she kept calling 'angel', because she helped her when she was in pain, if she had done anything wrong to be punished like that.

Later the son tells one of the docs, that his father had died a year ago, and left it at that. Mother's old charts are pulled out, and it turned out that she's been treated for the last year and was on valium 3 times perday to calm her down, if I remember correctly, she was being abused by her late husband. Problem is, she ran out of her meds a week ago, and she couldn't get more because she couldn't afford it, and that's probably when the psychosis, and hallucinations have started. When she was calm, and back to her senses, she sat and tried to remember what happened. She thought that her husband was there, and was trying to break into their apartment, she thought he wanted to kill her kids, so she looks around, all scared, and paniced. Then she looks at the window, and thinks of it as the only way out. She asks the girls to get out of the window, and asked them to jump, while the boy kept screaming, asking her to stop. The girls being little kids, and being frightened of what was going on, just jumped. God, I just felt like my heart jumped out of it's place and stopped beating for a sec there. Can you imagine what a horrible feeling it is? What a tragedy...

Now don't come and tell me that it's just a story. Things like these happen all the time. When you work in the hospital, you start to realize how cruel life can be. You hear things that you only think could never happen in real world, but in fact it does, all the time...

Posted by Noors at 5:46 PM 1 comments

Friday, February 25, 2005

A big thank you to Sam, for working so hard on this new template.

If it wasn't for her, I would've still had that black one, lol. I suck when it comes to these things!

Thanks again sweetie.

Posted by Noors at 4:41 PM 0 comments

Monday, February 21, 2005

These last few days have been so packed. It's only 10 and I'm so tired, that I can just fall asleep any minute now. First it was studying for my final that I had on Saturday, then spent that whole day in Mutrah. Sunday I was oncall, and I had to go and watch this procedure in the operation theatre that's called debridment. And I'm telling, that's no fun at all. The room was so hot, and the surgeon had to make a cut in the sole of the foot to let the debris out that has accumulated because of an infection. I couldn't stay for long, it was so hot and stuffy that I really needed to get the mask out of my face and breaaaaaaaaaaath. I'm the kind of person who can't really stand the extremes of temperatures, it just makes my whole body system go upside down, and believe me that's no fun at all! We have a French patient in our ward, so I spent about 45 minutes that night just talking to him. I liked how positive he was about life, hopefully I'll be able to see him again tomorrow.

Today, was a long day in the hospital, finally I felt like we were really learning something from this rotation. Then had to drive to the university hospital for a session that lasted from 5:30 till 8:30 pm, so go figure!

Haven't talked to some of my friends in ages, haven't been able to do anything in ages. Pfff, when I finally decide to go to the gym to work out, this session comes out of no where. And my shoulder problem is back again, the drugs I took were of absolutely no use.

Okay, I can't keep my eyes open anymore, I'm going to bed. Battery is very low!

Sweet dreams!

Posted by Noors at 10:02 PM 0 comments

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Ashoora'

10th of Muharam, Ashoora', the day Shia's all around the world unite together to remember the tragedy of Imam Hussain. I spent the whole day in Mutrah with the others and what is so special on this day is that you truly feel so connected to the Imam and to your religion.

I was thinking about this today. The Imam and all the men in the family were brutally murdered. Bodies ripped to pieces. Can you imagine muslims doing that to the Prophets grandson? Anyway my point is that the Imam is so great, that even though he was killed, he stayed alive in the hearts of the millions who loved him from his time until now and until this world will no longer exist. Yazeed, who thought he was ruling the muslims at that time, does anyone know where he's burried, no! While millions of people visit the Imam everyday, either by going to his grave or by remembering him in their hearts, he is without a doubt, one of the greates men who ever walked on this earth, and his sacrifice will forever be cherished within our hearts.

Posted by Noors at 10:53 PM 0 comments

Friday, February 18, 2005

Because it's Muharam, I go to Mutrah everyday with everyone else to listen to an islamic lecture, that ends up by telling us one part abt the tragic story of what happened to the Prophets Grandson, when the muslims themselves stood against him, and killed him and his family.

Anyway, while the Sheikh was talking, he told us a story abt a man who lived during the Prophets time. Every time the Prophet would see him, he would tell the other men that if they want to see a man who's going to heaven then take a good look at him. All the men were trying to figure out what is so special abt him, what did he do that made him stand out. So one night, one of them men went over to his house, and told him a story abt fighting with his father and asked him if he could spend a few days with him. This man of course, did not refuse. Now the guest starts to watch what the man was doing, and he couldn't find anything special abt him. He goes to work, comes back, prays like the rest of em', he's not the type that would stay up late and pray, so he was even more puzzled, and ended up telling this man the whole story, and asked him frankly what was it that made him so special. Do you know what this man said. He said that he's the kind of person who loves good to everyone around him. If he saw someone who just won something, he'd pray to God to bless this gift and to give him more. He always wanted what was good and best to those around him.

See this simple quality in his character, made him stand out, and made him absolutely unique. I was wondering, how often do we come across people like this anymore? Even your closest friend would be jealous of you sometimes, even if they did not mean it. How hard is it for us to accept that someone else has done better, and we should give them credit for doing so, and at the same time, be happy for them, and pray to God to give them more and to look after them.

You might think of it as a simple quality, now that I think of it, only the strong ones out there are able to do so. You always wish what's best for yourself only, and you feel bad, even a bit, when even your friend surpasses you even once....

Posted by Noors at 12:26 PM 4 comments

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

5 years ago, while I was at high school, and on this very same day I got my license.....

Only 3 accidants, lol, two were very silly, and the third was with my beetle.

It's a special day for me, so I just thought of writing this down for me to come back and remember......

God, time passes by so quickly, it's like it was only yesterday. I still remember how happy I was when the policeman told me that I've passed, manual gear btw, lol, my dad has this policy around the house that if you want to get your license, it has to be on a manual car or else forget it!

I wanna do something today, urgh, but was stuck in school all day. Well at least I had a good and busy day, so it wasn't all a waste.

Posted by Noors at 5:36 PM 2 comments

Monday, February 14, 2005

Valentine's day!

Just another normal day to me, valentine's day, up to this point of my life has no meaning to me whatsoever, though I find the whole idea of showing your love to your partner a very romantic and sweet idea. I think it's cute how people who are in 'serious' relationships (I don't believe in bf's and gf's btw) are running between shops trying to find the perfect gift, doesn't need to be expensive, just something special that can express their love.

Second day in surgery. I'm in team C, which is the team that is mostly involved with gastroentestinal problems. So today, I'm with the other guys in my team, we're with the docs as we walk between patients in the ground round with the consultants. We get to an old man, who's a known diabetic, and the doc goes: 'presented last night with signs of foot ulceration...', next thing we know, the consultant exposes the foot, and I see that the flesh is gone, you can actually see inside the foot, it's something that I've only seen in my medical books, but never have I seen such a thing with my eyes, we were shocked, yet we tried to pretend like it didnt' matter, and that we had a tough heart. I knew this was coming sooner or later, and now that I'm in surgery, I'll be seeing things which are even worse. In fact, tomorrow is going to be my very first experience in the operation theatre.

Exercise? Nothing yet, still waiting for the papers to finish. Though it's better for me. I finally went to see a doc today for my shoulder. He said I have 'bicepitus tendonitis', lol I know a lot of you are thinking 'what on earth..?' In simple english, my biceps tendon is inflammed, and there's fluid accumulating, causing me the pain and the clicking. I have to take these huge tablets for 5 days, and I have to do a set of stretches every time I want to exercise, oh and he said, I need to use lighter weights, if I don't want this to happen again, oh well, he said I can then start to increase it gradually, but always at the risk of having this problem again...

Haven't posted here in ages. Didn't feel like writing, but today was rather good. I wanted to let out some of my energy in here...

Later

Posted by Noors at 10:55 PM 2 comments

Saturday, February 05, 2005

"I don't have a centWill I pay my rentAnd even my car doesn't workMe and my man, he's the oneTo die for, we have split up
Can't you see, life's easyIf you consider thingsFrom another point of viewAhhh, ah-ha yeahIn another wayFrom another point of viewYeah, yeah, yeah, ahhh, ah-ha yeahIn another wayFrom another point of view
I see life and lightsAll the colours of the worldSo beautiful won't you come with meI've seen birds and treesAll the flowers of the worldSo beautiful won't you come with me
Ahhh, ah-ha yeahIn another wayFrom another point of view
Can't you see, life's easyIf you consider thingsFrom another point of viewAhhh, ah-ha yeahIn another wayFrom another point of view".


What do you think of those words? Simple would probably be the first thing that comes to your head. Just go back and read them carefully. My God they are so true. Our mood, or let me say the angle from which we look at the world, all determine how we look at life.

When you're feeling positive, even your deepest worries no longer keep you awake at night. You sleep being sure, that somehow you'll figure it out. Do you know how much power and self decipline this requires? It is so easy for us to look at things from a negative point of view, it's so easy to see the world with gloomy eyes, and we tend to forget the little things that make our lives worth living, and we end up missing on a lot!

Like I said in my previous post. I'm allowing myself to finally dream of what I want, I'm looking at life with a different eye, and with a more open heart. I'm ready to let knew things happen to me. I'm starting to try to look at things from another point of view. (Notice I said try, I'm not really there yet, but I'm on my way).

Posted by Noors at 8:52 PM 0 comments

Thursday, February 03, 2005

I feel like a different person, or should I say, I feel like there's something that has changed in me. I don't know exactly what it is, but I know for sure that I do deserve more than I give myself. I deserve to get what I want from life. It's not that I'm not happy with my life, and I am, I'm very content with my life, and how things are going, but I suddenly realize that it's okay to wish for things, it's okay to tell myself that maybe there's something I want in life that I've never admitted to myself before, you know, my life doesn't have to stay the same, I can ask for change, I can work to change things, change is not bad.

I just feel more calm, a lot of my energy is now directed towards me, it's all inside. It's not a crime to give some attention to myself every now and then, it revives you, gives you a boost, and helps you freshen up.

It's okay to dream for things that I once thought were impossible, mostly because I've put the barriers, and so I never allowed myself to think abt them, or even consider them as part of my life.

Posted by Noors at 10:33 PM 0 comments