I was going through some of my old files, and I came across these words that I wrote a year ago. On the 12th of April 2004. I was just smiling while reading it, and thought I'd post it here in my blog. It's long, lol, so I will understand if you don't bother to read hehe.
Yet here I am,
As strong as ever,
Still surviving and proving myself,
Living with what I have,
Keeping my dream locked away deep inside my heart,
Only remembering it occasionally and smile,
Things change and so do I,
I’ve turned into a person, who lives each day on its own,
Trying to prove myself to myself,
Though my obstacles are growing bigger by the day,
My problems keep pilling up by the day,
But still here I am,
Smiling and finding my way through,
I never thought I could have so much power and strength within me to do so,
Yet each day I prove to myself that I am so much worth than I thought,
That I truly deserve what is best,
And that best is yet to come,
But I need to get my way through,
Seek my destiny,
And hope for the best,
Have the patience to continue,
Though sometimes,
When the world looks so gloomy
And the sky is filled with clouds,
I just fear that this might be the end,
I start to lose my ability to keep things under control,
I tremble with fear and look at the world with worried eyes,
Filled with tears and fears of what is yet to come,
But then a voice within me tells me to hang on,
Tells me not to be a wimp,
To stand up and look at trouble straight in the eye and smile,
Yes smile,
Prove that I can do whatever I want,
Nothing is impossible,
Only when you have the courage to stand up and smile,
Will you be able to move on?
Believe in yourself,
Never give up hope,
I keep my faith alive within my heart,
And slowly I sail my ship far away from the storm,
I’m filled with joy,
And again I prove to myself that I’m stronger than I thought I was,
I’ve added a new experience to my book of life,
Something to always remember,
It’s amazing what the power of mind can do to you,
It can completely destroy you or take up way up,
Show you the world in a way you’ve never seen before,
Takes you out of your protective shell,
Makes you take challenges you never thought you could take,
Gives your life a deeper meaning,
It makes you cherish your memories,
The good and the bad,
Hold them tightly as part of you,
As they define who you are,
And use them to make a better you,
To make a better future,
Only when you come to understand this can you really make a difference in this life,
Put a footprint in the sand of time,
I took me time to get this,
It took so many bad experiences and many falls,
Together with my sweet memories,
To reach to a stage in my life,
Where I look at things from a completely new angle,
That there’s so much out there,
Waiting for you,
Never rush things,
Take things at ease,
And slowly you’ll get there,
Eventually you’ll reach your goal,
Be blessed with a special moment,
That you can’t imagine now,
Because this life has no limits,
Keep this in your mind,
And keep going,
I’m going on,
I’ll keep looking deep inside,
And make it guide me through,
One day I’ll get there,
Some day I’ll be right where I belong,
Now I pray!
Posted by Noors at 11:38 PM
Do you sometimes get the need to take a break from everything around you? Just wish that you could have some kind of a remote control where you can just press on 'pause' and everything just freezes there right in front of you.
I wish I had that kind of a remote control right now. Just press on it, freeze everything, and give myself a chance to sit back, and think about everything slowly, on my own pace, and without having to struggle to keep up with everything that's going on around me.
Posted by Noors at 2:19 PM
I was sitting in the seminar room in the Royal Hospital yesterday studying, I started my finals today, Surgery end of rotation. Anyway, while I was there, this old man enters the room and asks me if it would bother me if he sat there and watched tv. I said it was fine, and he started praying for me, again and again. Then he sat and started talking to me about what happened to him and how he ended up injuring himself. His eyes started tearing, and I felt like I was stabbed in the heart, it just made me ache.
He said that he felt comfortable the minute he saw me, and that he was able to open up his heart and talk about his problems, he said he considered me as a daughter. Then he starts praying to God to give me peace of mind, to help me succeed in my future, and to always always listen to God and do good deeds in this world.
As much as I wanted to hear someone say that to me, so desperately, as much as I wanted to cry at that moment. It's like he saw right through me, and knew that what I needed most right now was to have that peace of mind. It's been a long time since I gave myself a break from everything, from this world, from my fears and insecurities and from my thoughts.
Just a feeling that touched me so deeply, I just pray to God to help this man and to guide him through his hard time, ameeeen!
Posted by Noors at 4:08 PM
It's really sad when you get to know someone very well, then because of one stupid mistakes, and suddenly they are seperated by a huge ice brick, which you'll never know whether it will ever melt.
Why can't some people just accept the fact that we are humans and that we do mistakes every now and then? Why can't they just accept an apology and move on? Or is it that some relationships between friends, I'm not talking about lovers only, weren't meant to be? Even if they started off really well...
Sad thoughts, maybe, but very true, and it happens every now and then, does it ever get easy? I don't think so!
Posted by Noors at 10:48 AM
How often do we assume things before we try and find out what is really going on? It happens a lot. Someone would do something, and you would instantly interpret it in a wrong way, you forget about how good this person might be, or the extreme possibility that the mistake was not intentional, and you hold on to your suspicions, sometimes blinded by them.
We do that. We all do, but then when we realize that we were very unfair to that person, even though you might not have said anything to him/her, the guilt inside would start building up inside of you. I hate this feeling. Just makes me uncomfortable, and makes me doubt whether I had the ability to judge people properly, yet, it's so relieving in those cases when you find out that your doubts were just from your imagination, and that your trust to that person should always stay as it is, actually, it can sometimes help in strengthening the bond, no matter what it was, you just feel more comfortable knowing that your trust was well deserved.
Posted by Noors at 11:44 PM
How many times do we actually wish to be able to turn back time, and go to one particular moment, and erase it completely?
I was thinking. If we were able to change whatever we wanted, the bad experiences I mean, or even just be able to erase them from our memories and go along as if they have never existed or never touched us somehow, then what kind of a life would it be?
I know I cherish my good memories because I've tasted the bitter side of life, because I've been through the tough time I can really appreciate whatever I have, even the little bits of life, matter so much, and if you put them together, would accumulate and form a pile of amazing things, that would make your day worthwhile.
If we never had any bad moments, or bad days, we would never be able to learn more about life, and never be able to appreciate whatever this life gives us, we would simply take things for granted, and we still do mind you. Despite all the troublesom experiences that we go through, we still take so many things in our life for granted and deal with them as trivial matters, that don't require much of our attention, but if we just stop for a moment and think about it, we would open our eyes into what we've been missing.
I'm teaching myself, to use my bad days, and my weaknesses as my tools for learning, as my way of learning more about life, and how to adapt and make a better me, it's a tough job, but I think it's important that we all do, it would really make a difference, I strongly believe in that.
Posted by Noors at 6:06 PM
Okay so I decided to keep this blog. Everyone has been so nice over here, and the comments were just overwhelming.
Will post tonight, once I get back home!
Wait for a post you guys!
Posted by Noors at 6:22 PM
Should I delete this blog?
Posted by Noors at 2:24 PM
