Friday, September 29, 2006

Medical students, interns, and SHO's..

You know what I don't understand? It's how easily docs forget that there was a day when they were med students too..

I've started my rotation in internal medicine last week (and if you want to know, it's really hard, very demanding, and absolutely stressful). Anyway, part of our rotation we have patients whom we are assigned too, that we need to follow up everyday. We're also required to be oncall until midnight every few days. You're given an oncall bleep and the oncall intern (which is the first year after graduation), and the oncall SHO are supposed to page the students whenever there's an acute case in the emergency room.

Now, is any of them being helpful? Nope, most of them anyway. It's funny how those interns forgot that only 3 months ago they were students worrying about passing their MD exams, and now they don't even bother to help us. You ask them for something silly, they tell you their busy, you ask them to page you if a new case shows up, they never bother. Same goes for the SHO's, they tell you they're too busy to remember to page you, and even when you are around, a lot don't bother to answer your questions, or to explain to you what they're doing. Like I said, not everyone is the same, you do find those who are eager to teach, who try to get you involved because they realize that in less than a year, those students are going to be interns, and so they need the proper practice.

One of my colleagues was presenting in the morning meeting a few days ago (which the consultants ask for, again because we are going to be interns soon), and my friend hears one of the inters say 'wow a 7th year is presenting ha, that should be something'. Very sarcastic, and I'm sorry but it's not like they've mastered the skills of presenting a case, and it's not like they all passed with flying colours, and even if they did, it does not give them the right to treat medical students the way they do.

Had to let it out, it's been really bugging me this whole week!

Posted by Noors at 8:30 AM 4 comments

Monday, September 25, 2006

24 today!

So it's Sept the 26th yet again...

I'm a year older. Do I feel like I've grown older? Nahhhhh, I'm still the crazy old me, lol, well according to my friends that is!

How am I celebrating? Don't know yet. I don't have anything planned. It's a bit after midnight and I just got back from my oncall an hour ago. I'm tired and all I want to do is sleeeeeeeeeeeep. As for tomorrow, I'm either staying home, just chillin', or maybe go work out in the new gym, since mine has closed down and the classes are on hold. Oooooo which reminds me, I DID go for the class yesterday just before Iftar, and I DID it! Wooohooo! I wasn't even tired and I did work hard. I was thirsty by the end of it, but not really dehydrated or dizzy, and I'm so glad I didn't listen to EVERYONE who tried to change my mind, I'm happy that I did because otherwise the 'what if's' would have never stopped! I couldn't have missed our last class. So I'm thinking, I always spend my birthday exercising, well the afternoon times anyway, so maybe I should go and work out in the new place, even though I don't really like it that much, but hey the 'gang' is gonna be there so it should be fun!

Happy birthday to me I guess! *Right, lets get the cake with the candles, I have a huge list of wishes to make, LOL*

Posted by Noors at 1:23 PM 8 comments

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Ramadan Kareem!

Another year has gone by, and here is Ramadan again...

I can still remember the first day of Ramadan last year. I had my OSCE exam in psychiatry. It was also the day that I bought my punching bag (damn it's been a year already since I've had it?) anddd I remember having to work late and making it just in time for Iftar at my grandmother's house.

Tomorrow's the first day of Ramadan, and our last cycling class for a while. Don't know when we'll be able to start again, and it's killing me...So I've decided to be brave and take the class even though I'll be fasting (Unless I'm way too dehydrated by 5pm), I'm just going to take it easy, I just want to be there, I have to!

Right, I've decided to try some green tea today, hmm, I'm not a tea person, but I thought I could get used to the taste of green tea since it's healthy and is a very good anti oxidant. Just took a few sips and I'm not really liking it, I think I've made it a bit too concentrated that's why, lol.

Anyway, ignore the distractions, I've got like a million things going on inside my head at the moment. I just want to wish you all a very blessed month, filled with spiritual satisfaction and peace of mind..


Ramadan Kareem!

Posted by Noors at 1:21 PM 9 comments

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Not me, Not I

I just love the words of this song. They're full of emotions, real and overwhelming feelings of someone who had her heart broken.

Don't know why but I can't stop listening to the song. And everytime I do, it has this effect on me, like I'm listening to it for the very first time, like the singer actually conveys her true emotions to you that you can really feel what she's talking about.

Here goes!

Not me, not I, Delta Goodrem

"You mixed me up for someone
Who'd fall apart without you (yeah you)
Broke my heart for the first time
But I'll get over that too
It's hard to find the reasons
Who can see the rhyme?
I guess that we where seasons out of time
I guess you didn't know me
If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines
Surprised, that I caught you out
On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry?
No not me, not I, not I, no not me, not
IThe story goes on without you
There's got to be another ending (yeah you)
Broke my heart it won't be the last time
But I'll get over them too
As the new door opens we close the ones behind
And if you search your soul I know you'll find
You never really knew me
If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines
Surprised, that I caught you out
On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry?
No not me, not I, not I, not I, not I
(oh, I)
All you said to me
All you promised me
All the mystery never did believe
No I never cry no I never not me not I
If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines
Surprised, that I caught you out
On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry?
No not I, I won't cry
No not me, not I, not I, not I
No not me, not I
Not I..........."


So? Whad ya'll think? Did it have any effect on you when you read those words? I must say that you should listen to the song, if you want to get the whole picture and really see what it is that I'm talking about!

Posted by Noors at 9:10 AM 3 comments

Friday, September 08, 2006

Stressed out?

I'm stressed out....

My end of rotation finals are on Wednesday and I can't really explain exactly how I feel about them, maybe it's because until now I'm not so sure myself...

It's very crucial that I do well. It's my final year. It's the year that decides my future. I don't want to just pass, I want to prove that I am worthy of my senior's respect, I want to make my family proud and mostly, I want to prove to myself that I'm capable of being a good doc.

I've been studying a lot those last few days. I've done so much reading and I've tried to keep my cool. But there are times when I just lose it and I start to stress over my exams. My heart would start to beat fast and I would have like a million thoughts running through my head. What if I fail? No I know I won't, but what if I perform poorly? Will I be blamed by my parents? Would that mean that I won't do well in my MD exams in June?

Most of the times I'm fine, and you would see me sitting and laughing with others and studying with no worries. I think that there are a few triggers that make my alarm go off. Like when I see some of my colleagues taking it far beyond rationality, it's freaky and it's sad to be honest. Why? Because they put themselves in stress and they just become different people, and they make you nervous too! Or a word that one of the older docs would tell you, or a word from your parents. And then of course there are the docs who expect you to know EVERYTHING....

Urgh, I have a few more months of this agony ahead of me. Exercise is helping me stay sane until now. It's the only thing that I have that makes me relax and calm down. Some have told me to stop and spend more time 'studying', but I just can't do that. I can't study more than I am right now, otherwise I'm seriously going to have a nervous break down!

Right, I'm glad I got that off my chest, now I can go back to being rational and continue studying..

Thanks for being such good listeners, it's good to let it out sometimes!

Posted by Noors at 10:31 AM 7 comments

Friday, September 01, 2006

New challenges...

It's the first day in September, my favorite month of the year! I couldn't let this day go without an update! If you're curious to know why, just check my post in Sept 2005.

My end of rotation finals are in two weeks, well 13 days to be more specific. I've got so much reading to finish, and I'm dreading the exams for many reasons. Everyone expects you to do well because it's the final year. So you are basically put under a lot of pressure from everyone around you, not to mention your nervous colleagues who are going insane and are probably gonna take you along with them. And finally how luck plays a role in these exams. The system isn't always fair, and a lot of times you fall as a victim of the unjust situations.

Nevertheless, I'm taking this year as a challenge. To give it my very best, and to tryyyyyyyy and not let those around me freak me out. A few days ago, I almost had a nervous break down, but in two days I calmed down and came back to my senses. I want to do well, and what'll make me satisfied is me knowing that I've given my studies my very best, and the rest is all in God's hands, at least I'll be able to sleep at night without feeling guilty for not giving it all that I have.

Now, I've got another challenge. We're taking the work out to a new level. In order to do better, you need to put yourself to the test. To push yourself a bit harder, to get to a higher fitness level. It's not joke, and it's no piece of cake. It requires a lot of work and dedication, and you need to take it very seriously.

So here I am, with two BIG challenges waiting for me. I have to give both my very best and give them both all that I got. I'll probably be stressed out, with this hectic lifestyle. But think of how good it would feel once you start to see some results. That's all I need to get a push to go further more.

p.s I start my oncalls in 3 weeks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have to work late on my birthday :S

Posted by Noors at 10:55 AM 3 comments