Stressed out?
I'm stressed out....
My end of rotation finals are on Wednesday and I can't really explain exactly how I feel about them, maybe it's because until now I'm not so sure myself...
It's very crucial that I do well. It's my final year. It's the year that decides my future. I don't want to just pass, I want to prove that I am worthy of my senior's respect, I want to make my family proud and mostly, I want to prove to myself that I'm capable of being a good doc.
I've been studying a lot those last few days. I've done so much reading and I've tried to keep my cool. But there are times when I just lose it and I start to stress over my exams. My heart would start to beat fast and I would have like a million thoughts running through my head. What if I fail? No I know I won't, but what if I perform poorly? Will I be blamed by my parents? Would that mean that I won't do well in my MD exams in June?
Most of the times I'm fine, and you would see me sitting and laughing with others and studying with no worries. I think that there are a few triggers that make my alarm go off. Like when I see some of my colleagues taking it far beyond rationality, it's freaky and it's sad to be honest. Why? Because they put themselves in stress and they just become different people, and they make you nervous too! Or a word that one of the older docs would tell you, or a word from your parents. And then of course there are the docs who expect you to know EVERYTHING....
Urgh, I have a few more months of this agony ahead of me. Exercise is helping me stay sane until now. It's the only thing that I have that makes me relax and calm down. Some have told me to stop and spend more time 'studying', but I just can't do that. I can't study more than I am right now, otherwise I'm seriously going to have a nervous break down!
Right, I'm glad I got that off my chest, now I can go back to being rational and continue studying..
Thanks for being such good listeners, it's good to let it out sometimes!
Posted by Noors at 10:31 AM
7 Comments
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hahahahaaa!
I like the way you ended your piece of writing! ;) :D
Well I see that you still have got your sense of humor! Hold on to that gurl! :D
Well I know what you mean. I guess all of us have been through sth like that at a point in our lives :)
But since you have been through more tense situations than this one, I am sure you will make it the way you wanted to do it :)
Wishing you all the best :)
Hey you!
It's good to have one of my 'loyal' readers around! :P
Thanks for your wishes. LOL and trust me, I can't be crazier. You should see me in uni, making pranks and going absolutely crazy, and once I start laughing, there's no stopping me! hehe
Oh and heyyyy update your blog! It's been ages, and I still check it daily for any updates (yup I'm loyal too lol!)
hahahaaa :D
Yup it has been ages since I updated my blog!
It feels awesome to know that there is somebody who really cares to read what I post on regular basis! Thanks a million! :D
ha! I thought you all disapeared!
awesome this is you all still exist! hahaha.
Final year eh? Oh I remember the sleepless nights. Oh well, I am sure you got all your study schedule planned out. Work hard pays off.
Oh well, we could do with more doctors :)
@someguy, yeah lol we all still exist! I think :P
@Nash, thanks for your wishes, and yeah, final year, hardly any sleep, tension and stress lol
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