Going crazy....
I'm just tired....
Tired of everything....
This year is only getting harder and more stressful. I'm spending more and more time on my own...
My internal medicine rotation, which is the hardest, finals are in two weeks. I'm worried sick, and I'm very nervous about them. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm good. That I got what it takes and I should be able to go in with a lot of confidence and just do my best. But for some reason, it won't go into my head, which leads to me being nervous whenever I'm being evaluated by a consultant in front of my colleagues. I wish I could find a solution, and I wish I could just trust my abilities.
Lately, I'm spending long hours in the hospital with barely any breaks, which I don't mind. I like the environement in the royal hopsital, and a lot of the docs are friendly, and then I spend the rest of the day in my room, studying. Gets lonely I must admit.
Classes no longer there. I don't really like the work out classes in the new place, but I like doing my cardio on my own. Put my music on, and start my cardio. I just go into my own world, and I feel the rush of adrenaline as I start sweating, and then I get so into it and start running on the treadmill, so that's not too bad. Plus I've decided to start walking outdoors since the weather is getting better.
Last week I was so tired that I thought, why not change my major? Do I have what it takes to be a doc? Do I want to be a doc? Wouldn't I be happy being an instructor? I'm back to my senses now lol. I love medicine, I can't just leave, I'm almost done, I never leave a job undone...
haha, I'm seriously gonna lose my mind by the time I graduate!
Maybe after I'm done, I'll have somewhat of a proper social and personal life!!! *yeah right lol!!!*
Posted by Noors at 12:53 PM
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