The Story of Me!

Kuwait

So this afternoon I was so convinced that I'm definitly NOT going to Kuwait. My aunt said I shouldn't go, because I don't have my presentation anymore, and I need to prove that I'm not dying to go to this stupid conference.

My parents want me to go to have a good time and see a new place and spend some time with my relatives over there. My dad also said that I can always benifit from the presentations given over there and from the workshop.

What's holding me back? Well the fact that I'm not going to present anymore, so it would mean that I'm going there for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I've seen what's it like to go there when you're not doing anything, and I remember thinking that I never wanted to be there if I was going to be useless, and if I had nothing to offer.
Then there are the girls. Seriously, I'm closer to the guys than the girls. After being with them for 5 years, they still consider me to be different, I mean, yeah, they're nice to me, well most of the times anyway, but I'm not so sure whether I'm gonna be comfy there with them, you know, day and night, I'll probably be hanging out with the guys most of the time.
My aunt says that I need to learn to stand up when things like these happen. Like this time, I don't get to present, why? Because I won last year, now how much sense to you get out of that? They should've told me from the beginning.
Oh and of course, the idea of me being sick on the plane just gives me the shivers. I can take my meds, but I'll still be drowsy and extremely tired. Do I want my colleagues to see me in that pathetic way? Oh God, NO!

I do know that it could be fun. A lot of the guys, and I stress again, guys, I know are going. People whom I enjoy their company, but a lot of things are holding me back. Sometimes I just think that I'd rather stay here, in my house, and spend some quality time for myself, relaxing, chillin', and giving myself a rest from the world and especially from SQU, and everything that relates to it. I need it so badly, I just want to stay away from all of this, and just concentrate on myself.

Posted by Noors at 7:16 PM