Monday, April 03, 2006

Women and love!

Before I start with my topic, I don’t want any comments telling me that I'm being biased and to not generalize because all I'm doing is quoting a psychologist that was on Oprah yesterday who was giving some advice to a lot of women who were cheated by men in their lives.

The first story is of 9 different women who all fell for the same guy, and either got married or engaged to him without knowing about the others. They all thought that they found the man of their dreams and were so in love, and so obviously, for them to find this awful truth was like hell as they were heartbroken. The second was of a lady who was married to a man for 3 years, and was having a cruise in the middle of the sea with him and the rest of her family to celebrate her birthday. He kept telling her he had a surprise for her. Apparently his surprise was for her to wake up on her birthday to realize that he had completely vanished. Again, this lady was shattered. She had a lot of unanswered questions and said that she missed her 'best friend'.

Now what the psychologist said was that women, all around the world that is, are brought up thinking that they can only be complete once they found a man they can settle with, and without that, no matter how successful she is, no matter how full her life is and no matter how much she has achieved, it's all incomplete if she hasn't found a man to be by her side. This idea has to change. A woman has to feel complete first before she even thinks of finding someone, because otherwise, she will just keep giving in in this relationship because she will try everything she can to keep the relationship going on. She wants to feel 'secure' and 'taken care of'. Why does being complete have to be by having a 'man' by your side? Why can't you feel content with yourself, not just content, but proud of your life, and your achievements, be in complete control over your life. Only then should you go ahead and try something with the other gender, only then will it be healthy. I fully agree with her on this point. No woman should ever feel less just because she doesn't have a 'man' by her side. I believe that finding someone is a just an extra luxury, if you find it, then why not keep it, but if you don't, it doesn't mean that your life is not complete and that you should feel sorry for yourself or less of a woman. It's not only about finding someone, there's a lot out there that can make you happy and content with what you have. Never feel bad for yourself and never ever let what others say or think affect you!

Another thing that the psychologist talked about was how women in general always dream of her charming prince who will show up one day and sweep her off her feet. You know what she said? 'Wake up, it ain't gonna happn!'. Now I'm a romantic person, which probably makes me a typical woman, but I realize that what she said is somehow true. I still believe in true love, it's rare, but it does exist, but women should stop dreaming about the perfect true love, because when they keep their hopes so up, they will fall deeply for any guy who gets close to them, makes them feel special, and then once she gets her heartbroken, she breaks down completely, because to her, her most important dream had shattered right in front of her, and she continues to live in denial, making excuses, asking herself why. She said women should stop asking for explanations, because if it came to an end, then it's not worth looking into. I must say she has a point in what she said, but the way I see it, don't stop believing in finding the person who was meant to be with you, but at the same time, don't pour all your emotions into a relationship, keep the thought in the back of your head that maybe one day this won't work out. Either because it got out of hand and it wasn't anyone's fault, or because the guy did not deserve you and so you should not dwell on it.

I guess that's the difference between men and women. They way they perceive love. Women get more attached, for all the reasons that the psychologist talked about, which makes it harder for them to just 'let go'.

Posted by Noors at 6:01 AM

3 Comments

  1. Blogger Sleepless In Muscat posted at Mon Apr 03, 10:22:00 AM  
    good post.

    and excellent points made.

    and i don't think it is biased in the least. on the contrary, i think it is the reality every man and woman should live by now these days.

    there is no such thing as the peefect person in your life. there is however a perfect circumstance in your life where you build up your career, your ambition, your whole life to a point where your totally satisfied that at a certain point in time you would want to start 'looking' but in the literal but passive sense.

    btw, it's not only women who get attached quickly, there a number of men of who get attached in the same way, and find it hard enough to let go. and it is to those that life teaches them the hard lesson of heartbreak.

    excellent post i must say
  2. Blogger HA! Entertainment posted at Wed Apr 05, 03:57:00 AM  
    yeah no such perfect person. just the right one, it's a person nice to do one of the following with us:
    1. talk with
    2. sleep with
  3. Blogger Noors posted at Wed Apr 05, 11:29:00 AM  
    @Ali, I'm glad that you liked the topic. Despite everything said, deep inside I still believe that there is someone out there who belongs to you, but before you start anything, you should always keep everything that I talked about in my post in mind, otherwise, you'll just fall again for the same trap.

    @someguyfromplanet, lol I think talking and connecting with is what really matters!

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